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Friday, October 18, 2013

Anne Bogart and Judith Butler ideas that I am relating to collective TRANSFORMATION

In A Director Prepares: Seven Essays on Art and Theatre by Anne Bogart, on pages 61-63 in the essay on eroticism she talks about static art. about static inspiration. something that stops you in your tracks:



What Bogart fails to do is discuss or note the death, the loss, the mourning, the second phase of change that is possible once that attachment/relationship is made. She clarifies that there is an initial change and/or one that is drawn out over the relationship ("extended intercourse") through the avenues of vulnerability involved in our "socially constituted bodies". But what happens when that relationship is over or lost? This risk/experience/possibility is not covered by Bogart, but I found Judith Butler discusses this phase in Precarious Life on page 20:

Loss and vulnerability seems to follow from our being socially constituted bodies, attached to others, at risk of losing those attachments, exposed to others, at risk of violence by virtue of that exposure...

she the continues on page 21:

...Perhaps, rather, one mourns when one accepts that by the loss one undergoes one will be changed, possibly for ever. Perhaps mourning has to do with agreeing to undergo a transformation (perhaps one should say submitting to a transformation) the full result of which one cannot know in advance.

So is there a #8 and #9 to Bogart's list? and could it be something like,

8. There is an end to that intercourse. A loss.
9. Following that loss, is a mourning that is ultimately, if successful, transformational. There is a second irrevocable change that is just as unplanned and uncharted as the initial erotic arrest.


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So god sees everything. Because we are inextricably tied to one another. Because when we have transformations within our own autonomous bodies and selves which happen to also be unavoidably social, relating, connected, we are participating in a larger collective transformation. And it is clear to me that not only do people take psychedelic drugs to induce such transformations, and that many claim to experience them during their trips, but that one common experience of these drug induced states is a deepened and clear understanding and knowing of that connectivity, collectivity, oneness within the experience of love and understanding.

why is this project called god sees everything? because there are two realities being straddled here: there is the one in which I am fascinated by the collective oneness of the universe- this sacred universality that is often brought into awareness through the use of psychedelics. And secondly, simultaneously, I am aware of the "political god" in it all. I am aware of the fractured, institutionalized, privileged, surfaced, hypocrisy that is entrenched in the world of drugs- be it pharmaceuticals, or drug wars, or drug politics, or ritualized or appropriated and/or de-ritualized inductions that wreak violence and further fragment the oneness that is ultimately undeniably true.




Monday, October 14, 2013

shining bright like a diamond

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/168541-diamond-rain-falls-on-jupiter-and-saturn




watch time pass/see space change

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ew3SQiFGR0

painter for the future.
secrets. being held in the hues of paints in circles and symmetry. Being a woman as being a secret for the future because being a woman in the present is always casted out by bigness of our male counterparts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAat-T1uhE

I am struggling to interview people. To talk to them. I feel like I need to go drink beer at Telegraph with a sign that says I am interviewing people about their stories of psychedelics.

I feel behind in my project. I miss the studio. I miss space with other movers. I made some of the biggest mistakes of my life in the last few months.

I feel very isolated as an artist right now and I would say most of it is self-imposed.